You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2008.
We have been in our house for just over a week now. And I am so in love with this house, it is unreal. Is it normal for a first time homebuyer to love a house this much? And I love the fact that the house is 10 years older than I am. It has amazing creaks and clanks going on throughout the day as it goes about its business of giving us shelter and being our home. Makes me wonder about the families that lived here before us. What memories did they make in our new home? What milestones did they or their children reach in this house?
The only downside to the house is that we wake up every day with new things to add to the “to do” list. This weekend we primed and painted the guest bedroom, just have to finish the trim. We also changed all of the exterior deadbolts and handles (all 5 of them!). We bought new tile to put down in the foyer to replace the grody linoleum and also discussed laminate for the main living room.
We are still living amid a chaos of boxes. But they are mostly my crafting things, our book collection and dvd collection. DH has to build shelves for us, you know, because his list isn’t quite long enough : ) He built us a great book shelf while we lived in Guam. It is Mahogany and is tall and simple. He basically wrecked it for me and store-bought bookshelves. Our old house in Saipan had cheap-o shelves in the living room that were the brackets and piece of board kind that we used to put our dvd’s on. Hey, they were there when we moved in and it was a rental, so we weren’t going to go about changing things. They worked for the year that we were there.
One of our neighbors came and introduced herself to me tonight and brought me the prettiest bouquet of daisies, carnations and gerber daisies. So sweet. She seems like one of those people that you just want to sit down and have a pot of tea with and get to know better. But I was a dunce as usual and didn’t invite her in. Social ineptness, check. I always think of the proper thing to do after the fact. Sometime I will invite her over though. In my 13 years of living on my own, I have never had a neighbor come and introduce themselves to me, let alone bring me flowers. I am lucky, this seems to be a great neighborhood.
Speaking of the neighborhood, we saw a juvenile black bear walking down our street about a block from the house one day. It was cute and ran right into someone’s yard and up to their porch when it realized we were behind it. The neighbor lady brought it up tonight and asked me if I saw “our yearling” wandering around during the day. I am not too concerned about the bears right now…they are pretty fat and satisfied and have hibernation on their minds. But come this spring when they wake up, I will be much more cautious.
And since a blog post isn’t much fun without pictures, I will share a cooking adventure that BTH & I had last month in the vacation house. Anyone that knows me well knows that I adore chocolate and think that chocolate + peanut butter is about as close to heaven on earth as you can get. Especially when eaten in a nice bath while the baby is sleeping. I have found that my favorite chocolate/peanut butter combo is made by Hershey’s. They come in giant bars and also as filled Kisses. Reeses is good in a pinch, but the peanut butter isn’t nearly as smooth as Hershey’s. For a while there, I was eating a bag of Kisses every other day.
Yeaaaahhhhh…
I decided that I needed to do something drastic to help curb my craving. So, I set out to make massive peanut butter cups, like the kind you get in the gourmet candy shops. I figured that I would beat my craving into submission by overdose. I am so smart.
Basically, I just took cupcake liners (I couldn’t find the mini ones) and melted a small amount of milk chocolate chips and spread that into the liner to make the bottom and side shell of the cup. I stuck that in the freezer for the time being while I made the peanut butter filling. For the filling, I took peanut butter (we use the kind that you grind at the store. If your store doesn’t have a peanut grinder, you can get a jar of all natural peanut butter), then I mixed in a bit of softened unsalted butter and some powdered sugar. I didn’t measure amounts, I just mixed until it was smooth and tasted good to me. I then plopped that mix into the shells that I made before and smoothed the top. Then back in the freezer. I then melted some more milk chocolate chips and poured that on top of the peanut butter cup, sealing it in. Then I let them set up in the freezer for a bit. I looked for recipes on different websites but most were pretty strange and included adding wax to the chocolate. Eww. I wanted something simple and straightforward.
They were good, even BTH got a few nibbles. But don’t tell DH. And please don’t mention to him that I have more chocolate chips on my mental shopping list for tomorrow. Because I haven’t had a peanut butter cup in at least 10 days. Guess my plan of conquering my addiction didn’t work.
I might be scarce for a bit…our new internet plan has limited internet usage and we need to get a good idea about how much we are online before we have overages.
Peace.
One year ago today, I watched my Mom take her last breath. I had been mulling over what to say about today for quite a while, but in the end all I really want to say is that I miss my Mom. I think that it is even more painful because I was her only child, her daughter. Mothers and daughters have different relationships to begin with and being an only child made it that much more interesting.
Jim bought me the little Willow Tree figurine yesterday. It is “Remember: Always I Will Remember”.
Earlier today I was thinking about the day that Mom died. In a way it was a sort of relief. A relief that she was no longer strugging, in pain and living a life that she would have not wanted. A relief that she didn’t have to keep up a brave face to me and keep telling me that she was going to live another 15 years when it was obvious that she wasn’t. A relief that I didn’t have to dance around the “death” subject and pretend that she would get better. A relief that I felt like I didn’t have to try to keep it all together anymore. But I didn’t really lose it right then when she died.
She died at 7:30 that morning. By the time hospice, other family members, her pastor, and the funeral home came to the house it was close to 11 am. We picked up a little bit around the house and then the majority of the people at the house decided that we should all go to the bar where Mom had worked as a bookkeeper/bartender and have a drink in her honor. “It is what she would have wanted,” was what everyone kept telling me. Reluctantly I agreed to go, and agreed to meet everyone there in a “little while”. Once the house was empty, I picked up her little Papillon, and carried her around the house, just wandering around and thinking. I wondered if I would ever return to the house and think of it as “Mom’s house” or if it would then just be my Step-Dad’s. I wondered if it would have the same essence that her house always had. Mom’s houses always felt like home even though she moved every few years and I hadn’t lived with her in over 10 years. I wondered if it would smell the same without her. I wondered how I would go on after losing her. After a while, I got in the car (still holding the dog) and drove to the bar. BTH had gone home with my Grandparents earlier so that I could take care of a few things.
I walked into the bar (which is a little hole in the wall place) and there was my family, all gathered together, celebrating Mom and remembering her with their own stories. When I was asked what I wanted to drink, I could only think of one drink to have. A Dewar’s on the rocks. It was what Mom drank when she celebrated. Special occasions only. Otherwise she would drink a Vodka Gimlet if she was out at a bar, or a glass of wine or a beer at home. When I was told that the bar where she used to work didn’t have Dewar’s (this is a hole in the wall afterall), that is when I lost it. Why that set me off, I don’t know. But it did. I didn’t want a Gimlet, I didn’t want a glass of wine, I didn’t want a beer. I wanted a Dewar’s on the rocks, damn it. Since I couldn’t have that, I had a Sprite. Yeah, a plain Sprite. I had my one Sprite and I left. I didn’t feel like I belonged. I just couldn’t manage to sit there and drink with everyone.
I think that is one of those crazy-not-entirely-significant moments that we remember forever.
I did end up having that Dewar’s. One week later at the luncheon after her memorial service. And since I can’t have a Dewar’s to remember her by today (I am 24 weeks pregnant), I plan on having one for her birthday in February and one next year on September 14. I have to catch up.
I love you, Mom. And I will always remember our story.
Peace.
How to find a web page that has been removed? I tried the WayBack Machine without success…maybe I am just not doing it right?
I wanted to share the link to our new house with one more person and when I went to the site, the page is no longer available. Sucks for reals.
Help.
(Thank you, everyone, for your comments on my last post. I appreciate every kind comment or thought.)
So, I have been knitting. Like another Juneau-ite says, “In Juneau, the weather is always fine, if you are a knitter.” Oh so true. This has been a crazy summer by most accounts. The highs are in the low 60’s and it is overcast and drizzly 5 days out of 7. Perfect weather to curl up with knitting and a hot cup of tea or coffee.
I finished the baby cardigan that is a gift for another couple having a baby next month. I adore this pattern, it is well written and easy to follow. It is an easy top-down raglan style sweater with no seaming.
- Pattern: Easy Baby Cardigan by Knitting Pure and Simple (Free Download)
- Yarn: Knit Picks Comfy in Planetarium colorway
- Mods: Made in 12 month size, did the collar version instead of hood and only did one set of i-cord ties.
I have also been working on my Monkey’s. I finished the first one while we were still in Saipan and it was too short, so I had to rip it back. I put that off and put it in the knitting bag where it sat patiently waiting. I decided last week to dig it out, rip the toe out and add another repeat on the foot, knit the toe and kitchner it shut. By then, I was on a roll and cast on for #2 immediately. This pattern is addicting, as is the yarn. I adore this yarn. It is nice in the hand, and nice on the foot. A pure pleasure to knit with. And I think that it will hold up well to wear. I did the gusset yesterday and am almost done with turning the heel. Then it is smooth sailing on down the foot.
- Pattern: Monkey (Free Download)
- Yarn: Blue Moon Fiber Arts Socks That Rock Mediumweight in Sherbert colorway
- Mods: None
I have also been working on my yarn thrifting skillz. I bought this 100% lambswool Old Navy sweater at the thrift shop for $3.25.
There are tons of tutorials online regarding taking apart sweaters, I liked this one the best and followed it. It was time consuming, but not too bad. DH even got into it by helping me unravel the pieces. I was then left with all of this…
Which I promptly dyed with Tropical Punch Kool Aid on the stove. And hung to dry…
The yarn came out a little more pinky than I would have liked. So, I got more packets of the fruity flavored drink (store brand this time), in the black cherry flavor. And set out to dye it up again…
It didn’t turn the deep red that I was looking for, but that is okay. It is now hanging again, drying. I used this tutorial on Kool Aid dyeing. Once I got over my initial fear, it turned out to be one of the simplest things to do. Seriously.
I have lots more in the works, but nothing that I can show right now…one secret project and lots of ideas mostly.
Peace.
One year ago today, an ambulance followed me for almost two hours to my mother’s home. My mother was in the back of the ambulance, a shell of the woman that she had been.
She was coming home to die.
8 days later, she was gone. At age 50.
I can’t believe how much time has passed already and how different my life is.
I miss her every single day of my life and dream about her at night.
And boy, is she ever pissed off. I often wonder what the dream interpreter people would have to say about my dreams.
(The lady at the top left hand side is my Mom before metastatic breast cancer, sometimes people assume it is me.)
Peace.
